Recent Blog Posts
6 Essential Topics for Co-Parenting a Teenager
When raising kids, it is important to think about the long term, like when they will be teenagers. Unfortunately, if you are going through a divorce, you may have to think about this milestone earlier than you thought. It is important to set up a co-parenting agreement that reflects how you want your children being raised when you are not around. For teenagers, there are six major concerns which should be covered in the agreement.
1. Driving. If you can provide a car to your children, it is important to allow them to use it at either parent’s house. Don’t make the vehicle exclusive to one parent’s home to keep a child from seeing their other parent.
2. Employment. It is important to agree about whether you will want your teenager to have a job. Especially as a way to pay for car insurance, get work experience and have allowance for going out with friends.
How Divorce Affects Women
Women are adversely affected by divorce in a more powerful and negative way then men when in regards to personal, emotional and financial well-being. As much as women have grown in rights and power, divorce still takes a huge toll on women – so much so, some advocates want to make it more difficult for divorce to occur in order to protect women.
Laws have made it easier to get divorced with the “No Fault” concept; where parties do not have to claim a reason for the divorce. This has made it not only easier for men to get a divorce, move on and not have many consequences but it has also left women, in general, with more responsibilities and stress. 90% of single parent homes are women led because a lot of times women get the full custody of the children. This is a huge financial stressor and can cause much emotional toil. It doesn’t help that women still get paid less than men for equal jobs. Being divorced and outside of the marriage creates a harder environment for a woman to provide for herself and her children.
Illinois Divorce Statistics
We all strive to be unique individuals – to leave our mark on the world like no one else means so much. It can be through a career, sport, volunteering, marital status and or even being a parent. No one wants to be a number.
Marriage has always been about two people coming together and sharing a life together through children, spending time together, date nights, vacations, laughing and going through good and hard times together. Never does one think it will end.
Statistics speak volumes. In our country alone the U.S. Bureau of the Census reported there were 2.3 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces in 2005. About 9.9% of adults in the U.S. are divorced – meaning 20 million Americans have parted ways for differing reasons. When one sees a 50% divorce rate, it makes one think what is the point? Even after one failed marriage (40% fail), trying again and again does NOT improve your chances for success; even if you think you learned all the mistakes the first time around. Second marriages have a 60% rate of divorce and third marriages end 73% of the time! People still have hope though, as 75% do remarry.
2012 Pentagon Statistics Show Drop in Military Divorce Rate
The Washington Free Beacon is reporting that the military divorce rate decreased for the year 2012, falling to a rate of 3.5 percent. In 2011, the military divorce rate, based on Pentagon statistics, was 3.7 percent.
The highest rates of military divorce continue to involve Marines and enlisted female soldiers. Marines had a 9.4 percent divorce rate in 2012 and enlisted women had a 9.3 percent divorce rate. Additionally, female Army members continue to have a divorce rate that is roughly triple the rate of enlisted male Army members. Nonetheless, these figures still represent a slight decrease from the 2011 statistics concerning these groups of service members.
One expert stated that because there are currently fewer military conflicts and deployments, military families are experiencing less stress and, as a result, fewer divorces. However, he also attributed the decrease to potential upswings in the economy, which may make life easier for military families overall, at least in a financial sense.
Increase in Child Abuse in Illinois- 2012 Statistics Show
In a recent article, Mt. Vernon Register-News states that neglect or abuse contributed to the deaths of 90 children in 2012, not including 60 recently reported deaths still under investigation.
Child deaths due to abuse and/or neglect occurred in all parts of the state equally, including Chicago, the suburbs, and downstate Illinois, according to a report by the Illinois Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS).
Almost half of these deaths were due to suffocation caused by unsafe sleeping conditions, reports state.
“Most deaths occurred when parents, ignoring the advice of the American Academy of Pediatrics and safety experts, slept with a newborn or infant in their bed, rolling over on the child in the night and smothering her or him,” the report from DCFS states. “In other instances, parents ignored safety warnings and allowed a newborn or infant to sleep with a blanket, on an adult mattress or couch, or on their stomachs, suffocating the child. Although the deaths might have been accidental, Illinois law holds parents and other caretakers accountable for creating a substantial risk of injury to a child, and DCFS indicates perpetrators for neglect.”
Religion More Likely In Children of Married Couples
According to this article from the Chicago Tribune, kids with divorced parents—even when the divorce is amicable—are less likely to be religious later in life.
This study shows that churches will have to take some new and drastic steps in addressing this lapse when trying to find potential leaders in the next generation. Some theories have been formed in regards to this problem; Elizabeth Marquardt, an American studies professor at Lake Forest College, says many current adults that went through this didn’t feel understood by their church at the time. Marquardt herself is the daughter of divorced parents. She states in the article that she hopes Protestant churches can use this data to help with their future.
Many religious institutions do not have set guidelines when it comes to dealing with divorce, especially if the divorce involves children. A pastor of Chicago’s Fourth Presbyterian, Rev. Joyce Shin, says that she will try to reach out to the parents as well as understand what the child needs during this time—but it’s difficult. “We know there are trusts that are being broken and that were broken, and it's going to take a lot to build up from that,” Shin says, acknowledging that it’s a hard time in anyone’s life.
Former Cubs Player Charged With Domestic Abuse
Milton Bradley, 34, has been charged with abusing his estranged wife on January 11, according to this article from ABC news.
Bradley, a former Chicago Cubs outfielder, faces 13 misdemeanor counts of assault with a deadly weapon, vandalism and dissuading a witness from making a report. He could receive up to 13 years in prison and $13,000 in fines and restitution if convicted.
There have been other instances of domestic disturbance between Bradley and his wife. In 2011 and 2012, prosecutors say he threatened his wife five times—and was arrested twice in 2011. Although the wife has given details of certain encounters, Bradley maintains that she’s lying about the alleged abuse. He told his lawyer that “she's making up stories. I don't know what she's talking about.” Some of the allegations include Bradley kicking his wife in the ribs, threatening her with a knife, and choking her after she asked that he not smoke marijuana in front of their two kids. Currently, the two are in the middle of a contentious divorce.
Illinois Hospitals Attempt to Address Increase in Violence
Recently, various hospitals, health departments, a community college, and an extended living center all received “Award for Excellence” plaques for addressing domestic violence and sexual abuse as public issues, according to a recent article published by the Illinois Valley News Tribune.
Illinois Health Cares, a state-wide health initiative aiming to decrease domestic violence and sexual assault, presented the awards. One of the coordinators of a domestic violence and sexual assault service, Christine Chalkey, stated that “Every hospital across the three counties realizes the importance of working together to end violence and should be commended for their collaborative efforts to educate and bring awareness to employees, patients and the public about the bad health effects caused by exposure to violence.”
Chalkey’s program, officially named IHC, works with hospitals and health care professionals to educate the public about the health dangers of domestic violence, sexual assault, and even elder abuse. Each year more than $ 4 billion is spent for medical care to treat the effects of said domestic violence, sexual assault, and elder abuse. This fact is one of the driving factors of IHC’s efforts to educate health care professionals, who, in turn, educate the public.
Common Mistakes in Illinois Divorces
When going through a divorce, people have to make important financial decisions while experiencing a lot of emotional stress at the same time. This can lead to a lot of mistakes that often times come back to haunt them later on in life. According to EIN News, one of the largest contributors to financial problems after divorce is simply a lack of information. More often than not, only one spouse in a marriage is responsible for financial matters. Because of this, the other spouse is often not very practiced in making financial decisions, and could potentially be taken advantage of when making negotiations. This can easily be avoided by making sure both parties are aware of the couple’s financial status and sharing responsibilities when it comes to real estate, retirement accounts and pensions, stocks, or vehicles, among others.
Another serious mistake that is often made during a divorce is not budgeting. In a typical marriage, both the husband and the wife are accustomed to living off of the salaries of two people. When they make the split, they must change their lifestyles to accommodate the new restrictions and lower income. This involves a lot of budgeting and cutting back, which sometimes people forget to consider and carry out.
Facebook Causes Higher Divorce Rates
In 2011, studies through Divorce-Online discovered that Facebook was named third in divorce filings. Social media has made it simple to find old flames from a person’s past, especially Facebook. Just one simple task of typing in someone’s name can lead to a link into their social world, which can sometimes cause harm to marriages. Social media has become the primary source of communication, even surpassing texting and emails. So if someone wants to have an affair Facebook is the place to do so, according to Divorce-Online.
U.S. divorce attorneys have found more and more people filing for divorce because of Facebook. The authors of “Facebook and Your Marriage,” state that the site can cause harm to what would be a happy marriage. They also go on to say that people are more upfront when they aren’t face to face with the actual person. Normally, when a person is having a conversation on the computer they don’t use their common sense before sending the message. They feed off of the rush of the mental affair, which encourages them further.
