Dating A Divorcee Isn’t Necessarily A Bad Thing

 Posted on February 09, 2013 in Family Law

In this day and age, with divorce rates hovering between 30 and 50 percent, it might be harder than you think to find someone who hasn’t once been married. However, just because someone has an ex-husband or wife lurking in their past, doesn’t mean they’re not dateable.

This article from the Chicago Times helps explain the steps you should take if you’re thinking about dating someone who’s been divorced.

For someone who has only been divorced once or twice, psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz says you should talk with them to learn why the marriages ended, if they picked up any insight about themselves, and how their relationships currently stand with their exes.

If your date has been married and divorced multiple times, you may want to dig a bit deeper. Studies have shown that people who marry multiple times may have personality traits or issues that cause difficulties in maintaining a fulfilling and lasting relationship. These people may do wonderfully in short-term, casual dating, but have problems with choosing a suitable mate for the long run.

However, as Dr. Saltz says, "There is no one-size-fits-all answer, because people get married and divorced for many different reasons." Indeed, there are many successful married couples where one or both of the partners have been divorced multiple times.

What’s most important when deciding to date, is to look for little “red flags” during the course of a new relationship. Some examples include: having a date who is narcissistic, who blames his or her ex for everything, who is emotionally distant, or who refuses to share how they feel about you. No matter if they’ve been divorced one or five times, these examples are warning signs that this person may not be right for you in the long run.

Divorce can affect your life in many different ways. If you're considering remarriage, a prenuptial agreement is probably a good idea, and a family law attorney can help you with it. Even in an amicable split, it’s important to obtain an experienced lawyer to protect your assets. If you’re going through or thinking about a divorce, contact our offices in Geneva, Illinois today.