Recent Blog Posts
Talking about Divorce during the Holidays
Dealing with divorce is a family affair. Sometimes it becomes too much of a discussion among family members. Chicago Now reports several ways to deal with questions regarding the pending divorce proceedings.
It never fails that someone will ask how the divorce is going. It is important to remember to always keep it positive. Give a short answer letting them know that it is going great and couldn’t be better despite the circumstances. If they continue to poke, there is no shame in letting them know that you do not want to talk about during a time of celebration. It is also important to only discuss the divorce with your attorney.
There is always someone that is going to be there with tons of advice on how to deal with the situation. Depending on how you feel about the giver of the advice, it is up to you whether you are going to take heed to the advice. Again, there is a time and a place. Let them know that you are doing fine and that you will give them a call later if you need them. It is up to you whether you actually make the call or not.
Supreme Court Hears Child Custody Case Arguments
Of all the cases presented to be heard by the United States Supreme Court, only 1 percent of them are actually chosen. It is extremely rare to find a child custody case in the chosen few. But just recently, the Court heard oral arguments in the case, Chafin v. Chafin, 11-1347.
The case is an international custody dispute involving the five year old daughter of Army Sgt. 1st Class Jeffrey Lee Chafin, an American citizen, and the child’s mother, who is Scottish. The little girl was born in Germany with dual United States and United Kingdom citizenship. When Sgt. Chafin was deployed to Afghanistan, his wife took their daughter and moved to Scotland, establishing a residence there. When Chafin was transferred to Alabama, the family reunited and resided in Alabama.
Shortly after the reunion, marital problems arose and Chafin’s wife filed with the federal district court to return with their child to Scotland. She successfully argued that the child’s habitual residence was Scotland, and pursuant to The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, she was able to secure an order by the court. Chafin filed a motion to stay, which was denied, and his wife took their child and moved to Scotland, where she quickly filed for Scottish custody proceedings, which, fourteen months later, are still pending.
A New Book to Help Children through Divorce
According to the Times Union, there is a new book that was released just in time for the holidays called. “Divorce: What about ME?” While this may not be on very many wish lists, it is something that can definitely assist a young mind with the questions that they may have.
Through the divorce process, the emotions can run high between both parents and even among other members of the family. Where the children are used to seeing a certain harmony and accord, there may not be very much harmony left. Children of all ages tend to internalize the problem going on with the parents and they may even feel as if the divorce is their fault.
There is no easy way to explain to a young child child why mommy and daddy are not going to be together anymore. This is where this book comes in. Children love rhyming tales and this book meets that standard. The author recommends this for children between the ages of three and nine. The book reminds the reader that both mom and dad will always love them even though they are no longer going to be together.
Divorce and Holidays: What Is Best for Your Children
Divorce can be an ordeal, especially during the holidays. Matters may get even more complicated if you have biological children and/or stepchildren. Fortunately, a recent article in the Chicago Tribune mentions several tips and strategies for navigating the holidays after a recent divorce.
- Ask your children what is important to them about the holiday and take their opinions into account when planning the holiday. Even simple things can be important, for example, where the kids like to sit at the table or how they like their vegetables. Traditions matter and sometimes your children may not even be aware of traditions until they are changed.
- Remember that your grown-up children may have been celebrating the same way for decades. That changes, however, when parents get a divorce. It may take your children a while to adjust to the new ways.
Playing dirty in divorce
Recently, there was a presentation of speakers about the legal, financial, and emotional aspects of divorce at Divorce University.
One speaker said that divorce is 80 percent emotional, 10 percent financial, and 10 percent legal.
Many recently divorced people also spoke throughout the day. One woman spoke of her ex’s attorney, “(he) was very nasty to me, it really bothered me.”
Another added that her ex’s attorney had told her that it was her fault that they were in court.
The conversation quickly turned to bashing of attorneys, although it may have been rightfully so.
The result of these women soon became that these “mean attorneys” were, in fact, using a strategy to pull ahead a win for their own clients. Many women’s self-esteem is at a very low point during and soon after divorce and these attorneys were using it to their clients’ advantages.
Cicero President’s Wife Files for Divorce
According to the Sun Times, Cicero President, Larry Dominick’s wife has filed for divorce. She claims abuse as her reasoning for the divorce. Elizabeth Dominick was a long standing director of the health clinic until recently.
Mrs. Dominick left her job earlier this year claiming she was facing abusive behavior at her work and didn’t want to deal with it anymore. She seemed happy with her marriage and no one seemed to expect her to file for divorce for this reason or any other at this time. There have been some questions revolving around the sudden circumstances that led to the divorce.
There was some question as to whether she was filing for divorce because of the recent FBI activity that is centered her husband and on the way that the city is being run. She claims this is not the reason and that she is just seeking a divorce for her own reasons. She claims that she only spoke to the FBI one time and that was for a different reason altogether.
If you are seeking a divorce and are not quite sure as to where to turn, then talking to an experienced Illinois divorce attorney may be a good thing for you to consider. These lawyers can help you to understand how a divorce works and how you can get the most out of it. Our experienced Kane County divorce lawyers can help you to keep the things you want and to know what your rights are in your divorce. If you think a divorce lawyer is not going to be needed, you may end up losing a lot. This includes your finances as well as your children or even your property. Divorces in Kane County are not something you can just muddle through. You have to be prepared in order to protect not only your money, but your lifestyle.
Child Custody During the Holidays
Holidays can be difficult and stressful for even intact families, so when parents with children separate and divorce, the holidays can become unbearable. The scheduling of holiday time with each parent and their extended families, along with necessary changes in usual holiday celebrations and routines, can create frustration, stress, and disputes between all parties involved, including the children themselves.
A recent news article published by KOSU explored the harsh impact that divorce can have on the time that a parent and child spend together, particularly during the holiday season. One man described in this article, who divorced when his son was only two years old, recounted the realization that he would spend only seven Thanksgivings and eight Christmases with his son before he would become an adult at the age of 18. The physical separation of about 450 miles between the man and his son for several years has resulted in this strict division of holidays between mother and father that seems to inevitably follow many divorces.
Actress Mayim Bialik from “Big Bang Theory” divorcing husband
After nine years of marriage, “The Big Bang” actress Mayin Bialik and her husband are getting divorced, according to her Facebook page. Bialik, who also starred in the 1990s sitcom “Blossom,” and her soon-to-be ex-husband Michael Stone have two sons together.
Bialik, 36, said that divorce is very hard for children and it was not something that her and Stone had decided upon lightly.
Although Bialik authored a book about “attachment parenting,” of which she is also a supporter, but says that it “played no role” in the divorce.
Attachment parenting promotes the nurturing of strong bonds between children and parents; this can include extended breast feeding and sleeping in the same bed until the children are as old as seven.
Also posted on Bialik’s Facebook page was a statement saying that the main priority for her and Stone, now, is to make a smooth and painless transition from one loving home with two parents to two loving homes with one parent in each. “Our sons deserve parents committed to their growth and health and that’s what we are focusing on.”
Court-ordered Parenting Classes Can Now Be Taken Online in Cook County
It is now possible to take court-ordered parenting classes online in Cook County, reports the Chicago Tribune. Cook County Circuit Court started the program on November 13. According to the Illinois law, judges have to in most divorce cases order parents with underage children to take a parenting education course. Before the launch of the program, the parenting course was only offered in a traditional classroom setting. Similar programs are already in use, for example, in DuPage and Kane counties.
The purpose of the program, which is called Children in Between Online, is to address the effects of divorce and separation on children. Thanks to the program, parents will no longer miss work to attend a parenting class. Parenting education is an important way to "help families going through child custody proceedings to achieve positive outcomes,” according to Chief Judge Timothy Evans.
The online program helps parents and children to learn skills that changes the way they interact.
Ending a Violent Relationship Can Be Difficult
It is not always easy to get away from an abusive relationship, according to an article in the Chicago Tribune. Victims of domestic violence must be prepared emotionally and financially before they can break away from a violent relationship, which can be difficult in many ways.
Fear is often a big factor in not getting out of a volatile relationship, experts say. Domestic violence should be viewed differently in our society so that there is no shame for abuse victims. Many times victims are believed to have caused the abuse by doing something where as in truth the blame lies solely on the violent spouse.
Before ending a violent relationship, it is a good idea for victims to develop a backup plan, which can include provisions for housing, child care and employment. The more resources victims have at their disposal, the easier it is to leave and break away. "If a woman has very little money and nowhere to go, moving out can be very difficult and a stumbling block,” according to April Zeoli, assistant professor at Michigan State University's School of Criminal Justice.
