Recent Blog Posts
Whose Child is it, anyway?
Adoption laws vary by state. While some states have adopted uniform laws, couples considering adoption must ensure that they follow the laws of the state in which they live. Illinois has very specific adoption laws, and failure to meet their requirements can mean big headaches down the road.
First, the adopting parents must have resided in Illinois for at least six months and be under no legal disability. The statute shortens the residence requirement for members of the armed forces to 90 days.
Second, any person may be adopted, independently of their age. However, if the person being adopted is an adult, they must have resided in the same residence as the adopting parent for two continuous years prior to the filing.
Weight Gain and Divorce
A new study reports that while both men and women tend to gain a little weight after marriage, “men tend to gain even more after divorce,” according to SeattlePI.com. The study uses data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, which, according to SeattlePI.com, is a biannual survey that considers data from men and women from 1986 to 2008. Researchers obtained data by considering the body mass index of “folks who were never married, were married, or were divorced.” Divorce turned out to be a significant marker of BMI increase, especially in men.
Dr. Zhenchao Qian, an Ohio State University sociology professor and one of the lead authors of the study, told SeattlePI that “after marriage, women will take care of their families and maybe eat the way their husband does or their children do.” This change of routine is what likely causes weight gain at the beginning of marriage. For men, the health benefits of marriage are many—“married men are more likely to go for routine medical checkups and take better care of their health needs than bachelors.” And yet, according to the study, if these men become bachelors again after a divorce, they quickly revert to their less-diligent ways. 
To Avoid Divorce, Positive Must Outweigh Negative
There are two opposing psychological schools of thought regarding conflict in marriage. While both acknowledge that marriage arguments “can be upsetting,” according to Psychology Today, some psychologists believe that not all marriage conflicts can be resolved at all. Others regard marriage as a partnership that’s required to give and take in all areas, and that by doing so, all marriages can be saved. According to Susan Heitler writing for Psychology Today, most therapists agree that fixing marriage problems requires that couples learn to resolve their difference collaboratively.” The question is whether this type of collaboration is possible to resolve all conflicts, or if sometimes the married couple should stop trying to compromise and just call it quits.
Helping your Child Cope with Divorce
Thousands of kids will experience the stress of finding out that their parents are divorcing. The age of the child is just one of the factors that will dictate how they will process the news and how they will react. They will also be seriously affected by the circumstances of the divorce. Your children are going to need your guidance while coping with this. In addition to hiring a competent Illinois divorce lawyer, here are a few things that you can help them cope.
Be a Good Example
A part of helping your child cope is displaying healthy coping skills. Do not engage in arguments with your spouse while the children are around. There will be plenty to discuss however, you have to be careful of how you do it. Do not talk about the legal issues such as why you are getting the divorce, financial matters, or custody while in the presence of the child. Your child may hear just part of the conversation and they will feel even worse if it sounds like you are fighting over the child.
The Post-Divorce Fallout
Many recent divorcees, both men and women, report that they feel alone when they get a divorce. Of course, now that the spouse is gone, there is a lack of companionship. There is also another part of the isolation. Many divorced people report that they lose approximately 40 percent of their friends. What causes this phenomenon when it would be apparent that this is the time that you would need your friends the most?
The Stigma
A survey that was conducted showed that there is a stigma among young adults when it comes to divorce. This study showed that women who were divorced multiple times were thought to be immoral and even deviant. Studies show that this stigma does not really affect men. It seems that male divorcees are much more accepted.
Co-Parenting After Divorce
The process of going through a divorce is emotionally and financially stressful. Divorce can become even more stressful when children are involved. Children need to feel loved and secure, and the best way to ensure that children's needs are met is to learn how to co-parent efficiently.
The easiest way to begin making decisions with your ex that will benefit your children is to look at your relationship as a completely new one. This new relationship is not about the two of you, but rather it is about your children. In order to be a successful co-parent, you must always put your children ahead of yourself. You may no longer be a husband or a wife, but you are still a father or a mother.
In order to focus solely on your children, you must put all of your own emotions aside, which can be very difficult. This is both the most important and the most difficult part of working together with your ex. Your child’s happiness, stability, and future well-being are all more important than your current anger or hurt.
Link Between Housework and Divorce
The Huffington Post has recently reported that a Norwegian study has found that there is a relationship between sharing household duties with your spouse and divorce. According to the study, the divorce rate amongst couples who do housework together was approximately 50 percent higher than those in which the wife is solely in charge of household chores.
However, this finding doesn’t mean that the husband should not be responsible for anything when it comes to housework. The increased rate is presumably related more to “modern” values and attitudes and less to a cause-and-effect relationship. In this modern view, marriage is seen as less sacred than it was in the past.
According to Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study “Equality in the Home,” when couples share household chores “women also have a higher level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage easier if they divorce.
Adoption Subsidies
Adoption is a wonderful thing that brings people together as a family. From infant to teenager, families increase in love and support through adoption. Some children, however, have special needs and/or circumstances that make the adoption more difficult. There are children who are legally under the protection of a part of the government (DCFS), known as wards, and some that are not. Ward children may get some sort of subsidy because of their needs.
There are five ways a child can qualify for an adoption subsidy if they are not under the control of DCFS.
- A child may qualify if they were determined to be qualified for Social Security Supplemental Security Income (SSI) prior to their adoption. These children do not need to be adopted through a non-profit adoption agency.
- Children whose adoptive parents receive subsidies remain eligible even if they are adopted again, if, for example, the adoptive parents pass away and another family member adopts the child.
Annulment vs. Divorce
There are two general ways to end a marriage. The first way is to simply have the marriage annulled. This deems the marriage null and void as if it has never existed. The other way to dissolve the union is to file for divorce. There are differences between the two processes. Here are a few of those differences.
Annulment
An annulment usually needs to take place within the first 90 days of the date of marriage. Reasons for an annulment can vary but are usually issues like the marriage being a mistake. One cliché example of a marriage by mistake is waking up married after a drunken night in Vegas. Another reason for an annulment is if you are planning to remarry under the laws of the Catholic Church. There are no settlements and awards given in an annulment. The couple walks away as if the marriage never took place. The annulment can usually be completed within weeks.
Property Division in Illinois
When a couple goes through a divorce, it is not usually a happy time. Instead, emotions are high and feelings of retribution may be strong. Deciding who gets what could be challenging. What you assume is yours perhaps now becomes part of the marital assets. In addition, assets may not be divided based on their dollar value, according to the Huffington Post. Your Illinois family law attorney can help you determine how property division might work in your situation.
Understanding how property division works can be complicated especially if there are significant assets involved. In Illinois, the division of property is not as easy as 50/50. That is why knowing what to expect is important to protect what you may feel that you are entitled to.
