Strategies for Avoiding a High Conflict Illinois Divorce

 Posted on September 30, 2015 in Divorce

Divorce is rarely pleasant. But, not all divorces are high conflict screaming matches. Even if your soon-to-be ex-spouse has a high-conflict personality, there are many things you can do to try and keep the divorce as smooth as possible. It is in the interest of both parties to be civil, because the more conflict there is in the divorce, the higher the attorney fees will be and the longer the divorce will take to get finalized.

Step Back Before You React

There are a lot of different emotions going through both sides of a divorce. You spouse will probably do or say several things during the divorce that make you angry. Before you react to anything you need to take a step back.

Often, when you stop and look at things from the other person’s perspective, you can understand where they are coming from. You may not agree, but you gain some emotional distance that will let you respond calmly instead of escalating the situation. If talking in person or over the phone take a deep breath before responding. You can even tell them you need to think about what they just said and let them know you will get back to them. Resist the urge to respond to a text with the first thing that comes to your mind.

Consider Mediation

Sometimes two sides cannot come to an agreement on their own. While you are always able to have a long drawn out trial and leave it up to a judge to decide the major issues of your divorce, a better approach  might be to try mediation when you reach an impasse.

During mediation a neutral third-party works to help you find common ground and reach an agreement on as many of the issues in your divorce as possible. Many mediators keep the parties in separate rooms and go back and forth between the two acting as both a messenger and a peace broker.

Minimize Chances for Conflict

Not everyone is a reasonable person; some people thrive on conflict. If your spouse loves to pick a fight, you need to minimize the contact you have with them. Remember that just because you are invited to a fight does not mean you have to attend.

Learn to walk away from situations that are getting heated. You do not have to respond to every text or phone call. You may not be able to convince your spouse to calm down, but you can keep yourself from adding your own anger to an already volatile mix.

If you considering a divorce, you need an experienced Geneva family law attorney. As a certified divorce mediator, Attorney Doug Warlick understands the best ways to minimize conflict and how to reach a resolution that meets the needs of all involved parties. Call 630-232-9700 for a for a consultation today.

Source:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=2489&ChapterID=51