The Solo Vacation: What to Consider before Leaving Your Spouse

 Posted on July 18, 2014 in Divorce

According to the late Ruth A. Peters, PhD, continual contributor to Today Family Time, it is not uncommon, nor selfish, to want to escape and rejuvenate in private. No spouse, no kids, no job, no worries.

Dr. Peters was a firm believer that as one half of a duo, separate vacations should be a welcome addition to each of our lives. She suggested that we should not think of it as an escape but as a new experience. However, there is one ground rule. Never should a quest for a separate vacation be viewed as an interference or a threat to the home-bound partner.

To further support this argument, Reuters shared the results of a recent TripAdvisor survey further substantiating the claim to a spouse-free vacation as 59 percent of travelers plan on taking a brief detached distraction. Yet while Dr. Peters, Reuters, and TripAdvisor offer the go ahead to venture to sunny shores alone, spouses should still consider the following guidelines prior to leaving for a stress free personal retreat.

To avoid the expense of an experienced divorce attorney, consider the cost of the effect your request may have on your spouse. Remember when broaching the subject, Dr. Peter’s three “C’s” must be taken into consideration. These include communication, consideration, and compromise.

Communication

Communicate to your spouse that although you enjoy every minute of his or her company, you still have separate needs and interests such as how you abhor fishing and vice versa, or that your spouse burns badly at the beach and does not enjoy international travel. Then, discuss and plan for a separate vacation for your spouse as well.

Consideration and Compromise

All successful marriages are those based on trust. When discussing your plans for separate vacations, you or your spouse should not be stressing over what may or may not happen in the absence of one another. Reinforce the trust you have built together over the years. In each other’s absence remind yourself of the importance of your marriage and what it stands for.

Do not complicate matters of traveling by including companions with whom your spouse may be not be comfortable. For example, traveling to an exotic location with a gorgeous co-worker, native of your destination and to be accompany you as an informative guide, is not a sure-fire guarantee to pack your suitcase anytime soon.

However, do build a strong defense for your plan and purpose of your trip. It could be to bond with old college friends or for just a moment of relaxation at a destination that is not conducive to your spouse’s interests.

Ground Rules for a Solo Vacation

Establish with your partner specific lines of communication during your absence and do not deviate from the original plan. If your spouse has 105 questions to be answered during established communication time, answer all 105 questions. Expect and anticipate the “trick” questions. Bite your tongue and answer honestly to let your spouse know that all is well, and even though you are enjoying your time away, your marriage remains your primary focus.

Establish a plan for a family vacation, spouse, kids, and Fido in tow. Do not leave the tarmac without first solidifying plans for a family vacation. When planning, ensure that the trip is representative of specific interests for all involved.

Deciding to vacation separately will not be the death of your marriage, nor will you find your spouse barricaded at the front door upon your return with divorce papers. It is about trust, personal growth, and some much needed time to refresh, reload, and rejuvenate.

With that said, if you or your spouse have decided to dissolve your marriage, and prefer permanent, separate vacations, it is time to contact an experienced St. Charles divorce attorney. The Law Offices of Douglas B. Warlick & Associates will work diligently to protect your legal rights while obtaining a fair and equitable settlement. As a solo practitioner, Attorney Warlick will meet with you personally to address all aspects of your legal situation and devise the best course of action. Contact Attorney Warlick today.