Post Divorce Ground Rules Foster a Healthier Relationship with Your Ex

 Posted on September 02, 2014 in Family Law

The divorce is final and you managed to get through the process. With the assistance of a qualified divorce attorney, all marital debt and asset issues have been resolved and you are now ready to redefine your life. As you pack away the marital memories, there is one nagging consideration that requires attention. How do you set boundaries with your former spouse as you will now share parental responsibilities?

A recent article written by Jennifer Wolf, a certified parent coach and leading advocate for single moms and dads, and published on Single Parents, suggests that the most important factor to keep in mind is curtailing the emotions that may have you reverting to the same undesirable habits that led you to a qualified divorce attorney in the first place.

Since co-parenting is established, you will find yourself perhaps facing the same issues and communication styles primarily responsible for the dissolution of your marriage. Divorce does not have to mean war but breaking familiar habits is sound advice. It is your time and breaking those emotional ties with your former spouse will only lead to increased confidence and restored self-esteem.

Acceptance

Fully acknowledging that your marital partnership is over provides a sense of personal freedom. You are now committed to living for the moment and should approach each new day with optimism. Finding this confidence will take effort but by establishing specific ground rules for your former spouse you will be establishing a new type of relationship with your former spouse, not as a spouse but as an ex-spouse. Setting new boundaries will prevent repetitive emotional disturbances, past and present included.

Structure

Establishing a new life structure will offer a sense of empowerment that will assist with creating a personal environment conducive to your new lifestyle. Remove all temptations connecting you to your former spouse and continue your own personal healing process to help enforce this new found independence

Post Divorce Ground Rules

Establishing any type of post divorce ground rules with your former spouse may prevent the outbreak of emotionally charged misunderstandings. Implementing and maintaining new relationship rules will only make dealing with your ex easier for all involved.  Remember to:

• Keep necessary communication short and sweet;

• Communicate respectfully;

• Mark your personal territory;

• Keep your distance;

• Do not turn to your ex for personal advice; and

• Approach in-law family relationships with caution.

Facing life after a divorce is an adjustment. Take charge and face life’s daily challenges with a brand new attitude. The most difficult phase of divorce is over and how you move forward is up to you and only you.

If you are currently considering divorce the first step begins with an experienced Geneva divorce attorney. The Law Offices of Douglas B. Warlick & Associateshas been assisting residents throughout Kane, Kendall, Dekalb and DuPage counties since 1981. Attorney Warlick will meet with you and personally handle all aspects of your case to quickly and effectively reach a fair and equitable settlement. If you would like to learn more about Attorney Warlick, call 630-232-9700 today to schedule your initial consultation.