Marital Reconciliation in Lieu of Divorce

 Posted on September 29, 2014 in Divorce

It is not unusual for a couple to cancel a pending divorce to try and rekindle their relationship, even after a divorce attorney has been retained and papers have been drawn. According to a 2011 study, there is an increased level of desire among couples in regards to wanting a marriage to survive, especially when children involved. The study, “Interest in Marital Reconciliation Among Divorcing Parents”, concluded that 45 percent of the 2,500 couples surveyed favored possible reconciliation. Therefore, if you are currently separated from your spouse but are still unsure if divorce is the best option for your marriage, it may be beneficial to determine exactly where you stand before making any life altering decisions. 

Spousal Speculation

Before deciding on divorce, ask yourself if halting the divorce would be a mutual decision or if you are ultimately trying to save a relationship that is already broken. However, if your spouse is pushing for an uncontested divorce, there may be nothing you can do to change his or her mind. In addition, if you are separated and believe your spouse may still need time to ponder the future, it is advisable that you discuss the option of divorce with your attorney. 

In addition, if both you and your spouse decide to end a trial separation, the first step is for you both to contact your respective family law attorney. Take note, depending on where your petition lies in the court, you may not be able to halt the process. Only if the judgement has not yet been rendered can the petition be rescinded.

To further explore your situation, take time to truly determine why you and your spouse found yourselves in this predicament in the first place. This may help with the reconciliation process. Did demographic, social, or individual factors play a part? Did you marry at a young age? Did you experience instability? Do you share the same social class or education level? One may also review issues of maturity level or decreasing compatibility as factors contributing to the separation.

Opting to Reconcile

If you and your spouse are both in agreement to try again, the American Psychological Association offers the following reconciliation suggestions.

• Not every person in your extended family may agree with this decision. Thus, you and your spouse should distance yourselves while the process is unfolding;
• Remember what drew you to your spouse in the first place and rebuild the bonds of intimacy without depleting personal autonomy;
• If you are raising a family, make it a point to spend time with your spouse;
• Ensure that all crisis moments are handled as a team;
• Keep laughter in your lives. Humor can diffuse many situations;
• Be each other’s best friend. Offer encouragement and support; and
• Remain bonded amidst the challenges of each day.

Contact a Dedicated Geneva Family Law Attorney

If you have considered all your options and feel that divorce remains your most viable option, a dedicated Geneva family law attorney can help. With over 30 years of experience, and serving clients across Kendall, Kane, Dekalb and Cook counties, Attorney Douglas B. Warlick will guide you through each step of the divorce process and represent your best interests. Call 630-232-9700 to schedule your initial consultation today.