Divorcing Successfully

 Posted on August 31, 2013 in Divorce

Not all divorces are knock down drag out fights. Divorce is simply the ending of one relationship and the beginning of a different type of relationship. According to Psychology Today, having a good divorce outcome is possible. Here are a few tips to help make the transition easier.

Take your Time

You are both going to have feelings of loss and the change is going to throw your emotions for a loop. Don’t try to be friends with your ex right away. You need to come to terms with the end of the marriage and you need to give yourselves time to grieve. Whether the marriage ended after six months or twenty years, you have to take the time out that you need from the other person.

 Do Not Repeat Patterns

Now that you are divorced, you are no longer emotionally responsible for your ex. While you may have spent years dealing with the things that made them insecure, listening to their work woes, and consoling them about issues with their family, that is not your job anymore. You are no longer their platform to unload and they are not yours. Do not fall into the same patterns that existed in the marriage. This will only stifle the new relationship that you may have.

 Keep it in the Family

If there is another person that is involved in either of the ex-spouse's lives, don’t force them into the picture. If you have children, you need to get together as a family to do things with the kids. This is parent and child time, leave the new girlfriend or boyfriend at home. Focus on the new family structure. Bringing in a new person too soon can lead to hurt feelings and hostilities.

While your Illinois family law attorney cannot help you emotionally recover from the effects of divorce, they can certainly represent your legal interests during the divorce process.